16 september 2002: Feeling alone

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Longing for home it hurts so much

Goran feels lonely and discouraged that no one understands him and what he does.  Images of water, held back, waiting to be released with incredible force come to him. A key is needed to release the water.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

Here I go again. I can’t understand hardly any of it. I thought I had got it, but no, not likely. I understand that another frequency is present. I understand this, even though I do not see it, I know it’s there.

Sometimes I feel like giving it all up. Especially today. I felt as though I was so totally alone, so far removed from my real self.

Actually, I know who and what I really am. But it’s hard sometimes, anyway. I miss my home so mush it almost hurts physically; no one can understand me. Is that why it’s so difficult sometimes? If people, if only a few, could grasp what is going on and what has been going on for so very long, it would be much easier to live.

Yes, it is what it is. Iím trying in my way to make the best of it.

I will carry on, but sometimes it feels so pointless. Births are primarily what keep me going.

But it’s taking such a long time.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

I was at some kind of workplace late at night. There was a lot of rubbish around. I cleaned everything away, removing completely full boxes of the stuff. The manager was there all the time.

It was also the last thing I had to do at this place. It seemed I had finished my final task at this place. This manager was busy with everything, he never stopped. It got late, but I was with him all the time.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

I have not really understood why these dreams have recurred so often during the last six months. I understand that there has to be some meaning with them.
Something is there and has been directed towards me. Even to this day.

I have now sent my signal, that which you so have waited for so long. I have not grasped it before, you understand.

It’s definitely not easy to walk a path that no one else has ever walked before, and furthermore walk it totally alone.

I saw something like a big shiny surface, like a totally calm sea. Deep below this sea or ocean something opened up, something that had never before been open. Water rushed down into this opening from all sides at tremendous speed.

It had been pent-up for so long, that it itself had almost forgotten that somewhere down there could be someone who had the key that was needed. Itís amazing just how much had gathered there just waiting to show itself.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

I lay in a doze this morning. I accompanied people to right and left. Then, I went with animals and plants, the air and atmosphere, water plus fire and energy, but I apparently forgot the water. Afterwards, after maybe five minutes, I saw the water that went into the middle from both sides and then dropped down. I also saw myself turn a big T-shaped tool, the kind you use to open large water taps outside in the streets.

Apparently, in every way, the thoughts that I send from my heart are perceived.
I do not know how. But how is of no importance. The main thing is that it works and seems to be working.

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

I was standing in a large open area. It had to do with oil. I had to go to the edge of one of these areas to view the next one. I got a sense of rather uncertain plans.

Something similar to soil landed on these surfaces leaving small heaps. Me, I trampled them down flat against the surface they were on.

 

 

—– ooOO – OOoo —–

 

When finishing my rounds this morning, I saw an old – very old – oak gate that was slowly closing. I was finished. 

 

Previous Diary Entry  •  Next

“I miss my home so mush it almost hurts physically; no one can understand me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If people, if only a few, could grasp what is going on and what has been going on for so very long, it would be much easier to live.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“It’s definitely not easy to walk a path that no one else has ever walked before, and furthermore walk it totally alone.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Apparently, in every way, the thoughts that I send from my heart are perceived.”