25 May 2003: Why alone?

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After the waters, looking for survivors

I feel so alone in my task. Prophetic dreams hint at floods and mass movement of people,  events shaking humanity to its core. I survive.

 

––––– ooOO – OOoo –––––

 

I’m lying in bed right now. I feel lonely, incredibly lonely. I also understand that, to feel this way is silly. Why could no one else come with me on this journey?

I understand the answer to this, too, but have to express myself in writing. I know how it is, that’s why it’s so lonely. At the same time, I am happy and grateful when I see everything through all of time, in time, that has occurred.

Of course, I’m not happy about the awful things that I have sometimes done. But it seems that even this has been necessary. I came down into time to accomplish something, and failed many, many times. But this time I am not giving up. I have come to understand, to understand who I am and what I’m here for.

You remember the prison, you came occasionally and gave me courage. I felt better every time we met, every time I met myself. I hope you come back soon. You know I love you.

 

––––– ooOO – OOoo –––––

 

I stood high up somewhere. Below, a tremendous stream of water had appeared, as if a large dam had broken. Many animals were swimming against the current to try to get up on land. A big bull struggled to get out of the water. It was a disaster.

I was traveling all over the place out there. Wherever I went, I looked for life. I had overcome something that is insurmountable. What I had done or discovered had shaken humanity to its core. Such a thing can not happen. I do not know now what it was I had found, and what impact it had had on mankind.

 

––––– ooOO – OOoo –––––

 

I turned up at a large construction timber company. I drove a big green truck and inside the loading area, I got a flat tire. The tires on the truck were very heavy, but I got help so it all worked out.

I recognized some of the staff at the lumberyard. Mine was the only truck there, as I pulled up to the dock.

I looked around, there were countless large trucks loaded with timber, all neatly stacked with sticker sticks. There must have been millions of planks. I saw these boards clearly one by one.

On leaving, I couldnít get the truck to budge. A man came by, he showed me two levers to lift up. With that done, it was only to drive off.

Even in the dream I thought I heard someone say: “Look, he has already loaded the truck.”

 

––––– ooOO – OOoo –––––

 

I stood on high looking down towards a railway station. Countless people were there and in a rush to get aboard the train. I seem to remember they were crowding and jostling. It looked like not everyone got to get on the train; there just weren’t that many places available.

 

––––– ooOO – OOoo –––––

 

I saw that somehow the sides of my body burst open. From these openings energy poured out. With a strength that could not possible exist. It was the most powerful thing I’ve seen since the explosion at the birth of the universe. It is a gift to get to feel and experience this.

I could only feel a fraction of the energy that flowed out of me. I could not manage to feel it all.

This experience, I felt, clarified a lot for me. My many days of deliberating were explained.
 

––––– ooOO – OOoo –––––

 

I had a morning I’ll never forget. During my rounds many messages came to me, and many events took place. This came to me: “Everything shall be birth and death, but nothing may be disconnected from its context”, “The roads are open, the way is clear”,  “Everything is rolling along all the way to eternity.”

I also met a woman who was completely heartbroken. She was looking for me and she found me at last.

 

––––– ooOO – OOoo –––––

 

Chreel and I were going to go on a boat. We each had a shopping basket with us and both baskets were empty. The boat was cramped, and there were empty chairs in rows, millions of them. Amidships there was an opening, perhaps thirty centimeters wide, which we could get through. The strange thing was that when I turned around and looked back there was a boat standing with its bow plowing through this small opening.

I went first and Chreel followed. We came to a gangway which we went up to the boat we were going to take. The strange thing was that the boat was myself. It had a large opening in the stern and the ship was totally white, so white so that it shone. Inside, there were white-robed men standing there waiting for us.

Previous Diary Entry  •  Next

“I came down into time to accomplish something, and failed many, many times”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Below, a tremendous stream of water had appeared, as if a large dam had broken”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What I had done or discovered had shaken humanity to its core.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“It was the most powerful thing I’ve seen since the explosion at the birth of the universe.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“The strange thing was that the boat was myself.”