5 May 2002: I found what I was searching for

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“No going back from my chosen life”

A giant explosion… the birth of everything. Yesterday is witnessed as today whilst tomorrow is already here.

—— ooOO – OOoo ——

 

I saw a black square. A white cross was placed inside it. Suddenly, a shower head appeared, attached to the middle of the cross. I got a very clear picture. I stood under the shower head, with water and love pouring down on me. I stayed there for a while.

Then it came: a gigantic explosion, quite impossible to imagine the scale of it. The biggest total explosion I as a human being have ever witnessed. Nothing could be greater.

This explosion hurled something out at a tremendous speed. It looked like large pieces of rock, glowing hot, perhaps as large as planets. They were thrown out in all directions.

Is this all? Something so gigantic could not exist surely.

But I continue deeper, to beyond, beyond, what do I see? Well, I was seeing and present at the birth of all that exists. I’m there in person, present and watching.

I sense that it is that which was and will be the creation. It is happening now, and yet it happened in the past, eons of time ago.

 

—— ooOO – OOoo ——

 

I’m starting in a small way to understand what I was looking for, searching for, crying out for, and called upon to do during this everlasting search, my journey.

My journey has gone from galaxy to galaxy, from planetary system to planetary system.

The search has varied but the innermost purpose has always been in my heart.

I now understand more and more. I have never been greater than now, never less than now. I have just existed.

I have just recently, now and tomorrow found myself. Humans, animals, plants, air and atmosphere, water, fire and energy, all these I have brought together the last few days. I have gone with all the elements to what is after death and to what is at birth. Both to right and left.

All this I have brought together, with all the love I have for all of this, given all of myself.

Then it happened; that which I was looking for all the time. Yes, where will it all end?

Maybe there is no end, perhaps there is no beginning. Maybe everything is a dream in a dream, if anything exists at all.

 

—— ooOO – OOoo ——

 

I was with an older woman. She was trying in every way to get me to go out on a hike with her. I followed her for a bit. We came to a creek or small river. I stopped and would not go on. The woman took me by the hand and tried to pull me across the river, but I refused. I said to her: “Do you see the car over there? I absolutely have to go over to it, it’s a job I have to finish; important work.”

With this, she gave up and went on her way alone.

I felt all the time that I if had crossed that water I would had not have been able to go back.

There is now no turning back from the life I now live.

 

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“My journey has gone from galaxy to galaxy, from planetary system to
planetary system.”  

 

 

 

 

“The search has varied but the innermost purpose has always been in my heart.” 

 

 

 

 

“I have never been greater than now, never less than now. I have just existed.”

 

 

 

 

“Maybe there is no end, perhaps there is no beginning. Maybe everything is a dream in a dream, if anything exists at all.”